


Bucky Barnes Collection of One-Shots

by imamotherfuckingstarlord



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff, Marvel Universe, Reader Insert, Romance, Short Stories, Smut, marvel one shot, x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamotherfuckingstarlord/pseuds/imamotherfuckingstarlord
Summary: Bucky doesn't think he deserves happiness.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Reader, Bucky/reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, winter soldier/reader
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be posting all my one-shots from tumblr here - there are a lot of them. tags and triggers will be in each chapter summary in the beginning.

The train terminal was quiet but busy, people coming and going completely involved in their own lives. Cellular phones in hand, rushing to their destination as Bucky sat alone waiting watching in a content amusement. The sun was shining from the large windows, lighting the mildly dull waiting room. It was large with high ceilings and vintage grace, it was a favorite of Bucky’s to people watch. Peaceful enough that he felt a part of the world again without being noticed; without eyes on him, waiting for him to burst into flames.  


His headphones snuggled against his ears, music on a pleasant volume that drew out the traffic noise enough. He focused on no one in particular, eyes drifted from one face to another; his favorite people to watch were families. The laughter, smiles, and even the nudges of annoyance made him wonder if they knew how lucky they were to have each other. His family was long gone, he was alone in the world - sure, he had Steve and his friends but there was something so intimate about a family.  
I want a family of my own, he confessed to himself, feeling slightly embarrassed. Even in his head, it sounded wrong. After everything he had done, did he deserve a family of his own? A part of him thought no but then he’d think of all the good he has done. The redemption he ran towards every single day, was that good enough?  
God, I hope so.  


Bucky slipped off the headphones, letting them dangle around his neck as he checked the time. He was due to meet Steve for lunch soon; he stood up just as someone took up the seat next to him. “I finally managed to find you.”  


Standing, he smiled at the floor and sat back down. His head titled in your direction as you held up a white foam cup. “It was hot coffee, but I went to the wrong terminal. So, it’s cold now.”  


He laughed quietly and thanked you, taking it from your hands. His black glove brushed against your fingers and you grinned, asking if he had any plans for the day. “I have lunch with Steve.”  


“So you decided to come people watch before?”  


Bucky’s cheek’s reddened a bit as he nodded, smoothing down hair behind his ears. He was a bit surprised to see you here, Steve must have told you - he was the only one that knew Bucky liked to come here when things got too hectic for him.  


“It’s peaceful here.”  


He glanced over at you, examining your profile as you lifted the foam cup to your mouth; he wondered if you ever thought about having a family. If you were willingly to give up being a hero to settle down into a normal life. Shamefully, his eyes wandered up and down your body; he had always thought you were beautiful. Smart and witty, kind and generous too. You were the sun shining through a window - that’s what you reminded Bucky of and it held up as you sat up, giving him a smile. His heart raced as you gulped down the drink in your hand and yawned; very unladylike and he adored it  


“Do you want to join us for lunch?”  


“Oh, god no,” you laughed, stretching your arms out now. “I need more coffee, what do you need?”  


Bucky’s face fell, what did he need?  


The question rocked him in his core, it was the first time anyone had ever asked him that.  


What did he need?  


God, where should he start?  


He needed time away, he needed a good night’s rest, and mostly, he needed someone to sleep beside him. Your question had his head spinning and you sat patiently, waiting for his answer. When you plucked the cup of coffee out of his hand to consume, he snapped out of his thoughts and stared at you. He watched as you down his drink and yawned, like before. This time he could only laugh, smiling mostly to himself as your eyes closed.  


“Bucky, for once in your life, what is it that you want?”  


“I want a family of my own,” he blurted out.  


Your eyes fluttered open, a smile drew from the corners of your lips; head tilting to look at him. HIs expression was tense as he waited for your response, but all you could wonder was if anyone ever saw Bucky for who he was. Not a Hydra pet or Captain America’s best friend, but the person he was in his heart; the kind, slick, charming man. The sense of humor that merged from his soft hoarse voice, always hesitating to show itself -afraid of being rejected when all he hoped for was an offer of humanity.  


It had been some time, longing, wanting him in every possible way; you knew with Bucky, things had to be taken slow. You were greedy though, you wanted to see it all - who he was before than and who he was now. You wanted it all, the baggage, the tremors, the love; Bucky deserved to have someone adore him. “It might take some time, but I’m always up for a challenge - although, I’ll confess, it won’t be much of a challenge on my end.”  


Bucky’s face dropped, shock waved over his body. His heart pounding in his chest, he was sure this was all an illusion - too much people watching had got him fantasizing about things he could never have. Things like a family - possibly a family with you.  


“Jokes on my, right?”  


“I’m not a comedian,” you said, reaching down for his hand. Your fingers tugged off the glove and he looked around as you pressed your palm against his. “I’ll jump, if you jump - simple as that.”  


Bucky’s face softened as he glanced down at your hands intertwined, the lump in his throat gone as he actually grinned. He shook his head and took a deep breath, watching people pass by. Living their lives, going home to their families.  


He could have a family.  


He could.  


“What do you say, then? Nothing has to happen right away, we could just go away.”  


“Go away?”  


“Sure,” you said, letting go of his hand to pull out your cell phone. “I have a car waiting outside, I have a bag packed up for you. Just say the word.”  


Bucky’s heart settled into a timid rhythm, the world around him brightened as he inhaled deeply and smiled over at you. It was finally there - the offer of humanity being presented to him and the best part, the most unbelievable part was that you were the one offering it up to him. In that moment, Bucky wanted to be selfish - he needed to be selfish.  


“I’m going to need more coffee since you drank mine,” he joked and you laughed, getting up from the seat. He followed suit, heat rising to his face when you reached for the headphones around his neck. His throat warmed as your fingers touched his neck, you noticed the nervousness in his eyes as you placed the headphones on your ears.  


“What were you listening to? Just so you know, I listen to music to fall asleep.”  


“I can live with that,” Bucky mused, handing over his cellphone.  


You took his phone and started going through his music playlist, telling him the coffee stand was at the end of the terminal. “We can get another round and head to the car.”  


Feeling like he was walking on air, Bucky looked at the hand you were holding out. You were busy staring at his cell, no doubt judging his musical taste. He hoped you would enlighten him on the ways of good music, catching himself imaging the two of you sharing a home that always had music playing. The thought alone made him take your hand, holding it tight as he guided you through the crowd.  


As the two of you walked hand in hand, you focused on the music, Bucky wondered if the two of you looked like a real couple. If someone people watching would think the two of you were a family, a real family. I hope so, he thought as he glanced over at you.  


You caught him staring and smiled at him, playfully tugging his hand. He grinned and shook his head, squeezing your hand tight. When he looked away, you stole a glance and felt a shift in Bucky. Your heart and body felt warm, you knew certain of one thing.  


_The world wasn’t good enough for Bucky Barnes, but you were hoping you were._


	2. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and you are acquaintances, but it’s the first time going on a mission together. As soon as Bucky meets up with you, he realizes you might have the same reservations many have when they meet him. Can you look past the Winter Soldier’s history and see him for who he is? Or will the mission be a bust?

The safe house was quiet as you watched the surveillance footage, focusing on the target; it was supposed to be a simple mission, in and out, but it was proving to be more dangerous. The basics was that you were to capture a Turkish informant turned rogue; he had vital information from SHIELD that in the wrong hands, could prove deadly. Natasha had gotten word that he was heading to meet a NATO (an underground terrorist group) agent to pass on the info for a hefty price. Originally it was going to be easy but as you spent the last few days tailing him, you uncovered that he had a few baddies on his side; hence why you called Steve for back up. Except, he was busy on a recon mission and couldn’t make it out in time, but he promised to send a helping hand. He didn’t say who, but you figured Sam or Rhodey would be knocking on your door soon enough. Tired of looking over the footage that showed the informant meeting with known NATO members, you closed the laptop and picked up the cell on the desk.

It rang twice before Steve picked up, asking if anything was wrong.

“No, I’m just bored,” you whined, asking him when Sam was arriving. He said Sam wasn’t coming and you frowned. “Oh, Rhodey then? Please tell me you sent Clint out, we have so much fun together.”

Steve laughed but said no. “Bucky should be arriving tonight.”

Your heart dropped and silence filled your end of the phone; you hadn’t been around Bucky much, never talked to the man except to pass along information – to be frank, he scared you a bit. And by a bit, you meant a lot – someone with that sort of reputation, it was normal to be apprehensive about spending time alone with him. It wasn’t like it was fair to feel this way towards him, he was Captain America’s longtime friend, for fucksakes, but – and that was a big but (pun intended), he was a cold stone killer. At least, he was when he was under HYDRA control and that scared you. Sure, Shuri in Wakanda “fixed” him but how sure it be? No disrespect to the young women, you knew she was the only one with the set skills to do so, but it was unsettling being around him.

“He’s not a bad guy,” Steve sighed, and you immediately tensed up.

“Not everyone is going to love your precious Bucky,” you said defensively.

“I never said you had to like him; you just have to work with him.”

“Are these my orders,” you asked, trying to dial down the heavy tone. Steve was right, you were here to do a job and if he thought Bucky was fit to help, then who are you to say otherwise. So, when he said yes, you agreed. “Fine, it’s fine. I’m sorry, Cap.”

Steve sighed again and told you not to apologize. “It’s been years now, but I get, I’m sorry I should have thought about before sending him. Bucky knows some people will always have reservations about him, it comes with his history, just – just try not to hold it against him so much.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon.”

The two of you said your goodbyes and hung up, but the anxiety had taken up it’s place in your chest; you were going to be alone with the Winter Soldier, a man who has killed more people than anyone you have ever known. You had experienced first-hand his brutality during the events of the HYDRA taken over of SHIELD, he had crossed your path and when you tried fighting back, he had you by the throat and with the other hand, pinned you down to a wall – his eyes were cold, lifeless, and you had never been scared in your life thinking those dark eyes would be the last thing you see. Natasha had come to your rescue, but the damage was done; you had a broken arm and deep bruises on your neck that took weeks to heal.

Closing the laptop, you got up and started making count of all your weapons; a few guns, two knives, and a stun gun, admiring the bunch, you took the latter and tucked it into the back of your jeans just as the front door opened. It had to be Bucky, no one except the team had the keys to the safe house and it sent a wave of fear down your spine. Putting on a brave face, you walked out of the bedroom you picked days earlier and down the hall, greeting Bucky in the foyer.

He looked relieved to see you, putting down his lone bag. “Hey.”

That’s all he said as he stood there in jeans and a dark hoodie, glove over his metal hand. You wanted to stun gun him and tie him up, do the damn mission alone, but orders were orders.

“Down the hall, the second door to the left is your room, the kitchen is stocked,” you said coldly, adding that you left a copy of the intel on the bed. “Steve told me he was sending help, so everything is ready for you to read over. We’ll be leaving tonight, be ready.”

Bucky didn’t say anything for a moment, as if he was confused by your stiffness but he finally nodded. “Sounds good, I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Watching as he picked him his bag, you held your breath as he passed and flinched for a millisecond when he switched the bag to his other hand; you hoped he hadn’t seen. When you heard his footsteps fade and the bedroom door open and shut, you let out a breath.

….

Bucky walked into the room and told himself not to feel bad about the flinch; he knew what people thought of him and he wouldn’t hold it against them, but he had thought you were one of the people who understood his past. Feeling slightly miffed and embarrassed, he sat on the bed and picked up the phone to call Sam. He hated running to him with all his problems, but Sam understood more than anyone. The phone rang once before he picked up.

“What’s up, man?”

“I don’t think she was expecting me to show up.”

“Who? Y/N?”

Bucky said yes and described the cold welcome. Sam sighed and told him not to take it personal. “I mean you sort whooped her ass a few years ago, or don’t you remember?”

He remembered everything and everyone he had hurt, and maybe it was naïve of him to think people could forget; groaning, he felt terrible. “What am I supposed to do? We leave tonight to get the mark, how am I supposed to act? She flinched when I walked by her, Sam.”

“Just calm the hell down,” Sam advised. “Just let her take the lead, that’s all – you’ll live.”

With that, the pair said goodbye and Bucky picked up the file of information, preparing for the night’s mission.

….

Sam’s advice proved to be the key to working with you; letting you take the lead prove to be easy and it didn’t leave room for talking. Bucky followed orders and only asked questions when necessary, admitting that your leadership skills were far superior than his. You were outfitted in dress pants and a spiffy blouse, while Bucky donned slacks and a dark blue dress up shirt, a black glove covering his metal hand. The two of you sat in silence, pretending to look at the menu; the mark was two seats over, your point of view gave the perfect picture. Bucky eyed you before glancing down at the menu in his hand, he couldn’t help but noticed how nice you looked and if he was that same guy before the fall, he would have told you. Instead he just waited for your signal and tried to push away the memory of him breaking your arm and nearly killing you. Of course, he felt remorse and it stayed with him, in his heart, but he couldn’t change how you felt about him. But maybe he could try.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and you glanced over to him.

“Excuse me?” He said it again, but your eyes moved back to the mark, who was chit chatting with the NATO agent. You stared as the two men exchanged a paper and you realized time was running out. “Not now, Barnes. The mark is about to move, you’re going to get up and walk to the bar. Pretend you’re ordering a drink; I’m going to approach.”

“I’ll cover you,” he said, putting the menu down. You stared at him, really got a good look and tried to see past the man that nearly killed you; instead, you felt more fear for him than the two dangerous men at the table. It made you feel bad, because he was clearly trying but some wounds were skin deep and for now, you just wanted to get the guy and call it a day.

“Make sure your comm is on,” you snapped, feeling bad when Bucky’s face fell for a moment before he nodded as you got up. Feeling like an ice queen, you straightened up and started toward the table with the two men, except several steps in, the Turkish informant glanced in your direction and his face turned pale. “Shit, he recognized me, Barnes.”

“I’m headed toward the back exit; the front is blocked by too many customers; he’s not going to run, but the agent is.”

He was right, the informant held up his hands in defeat while the agent ran for it; you followed him and out of the restaurant and into the cold. You thought for a moment that you had him, but in fact, he had you; surrounded by several agents that had been lurking around for security, you fought. Fought hard and had taken down all but one; he was a brute of a man and had you by the neck up against a wall.

“Fuck you,” you grunted, hating that you were in this situation again. He laughed and choked you harder until your breaths were becoming sparse. Your eyes shut and suddenly guilt riddled your body; the way you treated Bucky and how he didn’t deserve it, because this man, whose hands were around your neck; he was the evil one. He was the one that wasn’t being controlled and was doing this to you willingly, and you saw that now. You were angry now, downright pissed as you tried to hit the man in the face, fighting for your life until the choking stopped, and the man was pulled off you. Falling to the ground, you gasped to get some air and saw through blurry eyes, Bucky beating the man to the ground until he was knocked out. You cried as the man finally succumbed to the beating, eyes shutting but Bucky couldn’t stop and this time it didn’t scare you.

Getting up, you stumbled over to him and grabbed him by his metal arm, shouting his name over the sound of his fist beating into the man’s skin. “BUCKY!”

His fist stopped instantly; it had been the first time he had ever heard you say his name and it made his body still in the cold of the night. His fist was bloody but he left it fall to his side and slowly turned to you; the memory came back to him like a storm, the image of your life slowly fading in the palm of his hand and it felt like getting hit with a ton of bricks. He saw the way your eyes glossed as he tugged hard on your hand, feeling it break under his strength and he knew that image would haunt him all his life.

“Bucky,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face as you held his arm tight. “I’m okay.”

His body relaxed under your touch, his eyes shooting down to the ground in shame. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, just as he did back in the restaurant. “I wish I could take back what I did to you.”

“You can’t,” you cried, lips quivering not in fear, but in sadness. Sadness for him and for you, for everything that had happened, wishing it would all go away. You see now, that he was just a broken man trying to fit into a new world that had nothing but judgements for him and the two of you were on the same team; everyone did things they regretted, but he never was able to control any of it. For nearly half his life he was controlled by an evil force and how could you blame him for your own fears? It wasn’t fair and you knew that now, damn, you knew that now.

“But it’s okay,” you said quietly, letting your hand slide down his arm to his hand. His knuckles brushed against yours, the metal cool against your skin. “We can start all over, we can try.”

Bucky’s face softened and his eyes were grateful, his fingers twitching against yours. Taking his hand in yours, you held it tight and shrugged. “It’s going to be okay now.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly, and you smiled, a real one this time. The two of you laughed in relief, looking around the mess that was made. “The authorities were called, that’s why it took me so long to get to you. I didn’t want to leave the mark without securing his arrest.”

“I understand, it’s part of the job.”

Bucky nodded and pushed away hair from his face. “I’ll go inside and let them know the rest are out here.”

“Good idea.”

You watched with a lighter heart as he walked away until he stopped and turned back; you asked if something was wrong, but he gave his head a little shake.

“No, I just wanted to say you looked nice tonight.”

And like that, something changed, and heat rose from your toes to your head, causing you to let out a soft, shy laugh. Bucky gave a boastful smile and went inside, leaving you a little warmer than you had felt in a while. It was then that your cell rang, and you saw that it was Steve.

“Hello?”

“SHIELD was contacted by the German authorities; I assume Bucky and you worked everything out?”

Unsure if he meant the mission or the issue you had with him being your partner, you sighed. “Yeah,” you assured him as Bucky stepped back out, police in tow. His eyes meet yours with a subtle adoration and you smiled. “Yeah, Steve, everything – everything worked out just fine.”


	3. Imagine being late to a party with Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off a Kacey Musgrave song.

The two of you were going to be late; it was a given as you fixed a stray hair away from your forehead and glanced down at your cell phone. The party started over an hour ago and Bucky was in the living room, waiting patiently as you put on the finishing touches on your outfit. You wore a black jumpsuit, pockets deep and a fringe jacket - you were going for a glam cowgirl look for Natasha’s birthday party, if that even made sense. Looking at the mirror, you decided enough was enough and grabbed the cell off the bathroom counter. 

In the living room, Bucky was seated on the edge of the couch, rolling a joint for you on the coffee table. You smiled and walked over to him, sitting down knee to knee. His eyes concentrated on the action his fingers were partaking in and when he was done, he offered up the joint with a lopsided smile. 

“Thanks, babe.”

He leaned into your side and kissed your cheek. “No problem.”

You thanked him again and leaned back, legs a bit spread as you lit the joint and inhaled deeply. Bucky watched as your body relaxed and he chuckled, pushing back hair behind his ears. He never joined in when you smoked, said Hydra had done enough to his brain and you respected that, but did teach him how to roll a good joint for your benefit. He claimed to find it relaxing and it was a win-win situation. He noted that the two of you were going to be late and you sighed, smoke escaping your lips. 

“We look good though.”

“We do but it’s rude, isn’t it?”

Inhaling again, your looked over to him. “I guess, but we look damn good.”

Bucky laughed and decided then, that it didn’t matter that the two of you were going to be late to yet another event; it didn’t matter as long as he was with you.

“Take your time, sweetheart. We got all night.”


	4. Imagine talking to Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Steve arrives after returning the stones.

You watched the spot were Steve was suppose to arrive back from putting back the stones, but when the seconds passed and he hadn’t showed up - you knew something was going on. Listening to Sam shout at Bruce to get Steve back, you turned to see Bucky staring off toward the lake. Walking over to him, your eyes followed his gaze and you gasped.

“This that…”

“Yeah,” Bucky said quietly, hands tucked into his jacket. He gave you a small smile and looked over your shoulder to Sam, calling for his attention. Your heart dropped as he instructed Sam to go talk to the figure sitting on the bench first and you felt tears roll down your face as realization hit. Your friend had grown old, had nearly reached the end of his time in seconds.

“It’s okay,” Buck whispered. “The punk’s had a good life.”

“What about you?”

He looked at you, his hair brushed back behind his ears. “My life is here, Steve, he needed to go back to her.”

“Oh,” you sighed understanding now, Steve had gone and got himself a life finally. Feeling a wave of relief, you laughed lowly and glanced back at Bucky. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered, letting his hand fall from his pocket. It settled next to yours, his knuckles brushed against yours and that felt like an extension of his answer. It made all the sudden loss of a friend fade at the prospect of something that might blossom between Bucky and you.

“Yeah,” you repeated back, smiling at him. “I think you’ll be just fine.”

He grinned then, nothing over the top, but still, it felt nice in the aspect of what was happening and when Sam called the two of you over, showing off his new shield, Bucky nudged you playfully and told you to lead the way.


End file.
